A change

So this is going to be a pretty personal post. I only have 2 followers, and I'm pretty sure one of them is currently being away from blogging. I haven't kept up with this place at all for the last two months, because I am always worried about it. I always worry that I will say something that will upset someone else.

Mostly I have avoided it because I have been in a funk. A pretty bad one, actually. When I was a young teen, I was diagnosed as manic depressive. After that, it changed to borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder. I have struggled with depression since I was 7. I was medicated on and off through my teenage years, but stopped cold turkey when I went to college. Since then, I have had my highs and my lows, like everyone.

These last few months have been some of the most trying in many years. I have been systematically shutting myself down to the outside world. Unsurprisingly, I have lost most of my friends. I do not blame any of them, but it does hurt like hell.

That being said, I have decided enough is enough. I will not let my disease control me. I have fought through this before, and I am going to do it again.

I have a job interview on Friday, and I am really hopeful about it. Either I will get this job, which will be awesome, or I won't. Even if I don't though, it has given me the push that I need to go and find myself something better than what I currently have. I do not want to stay where I am, and I am going to find myself something better.


So, in conclusion, my blog has changed. It is not going to be about how perfect my life is right now, because honestly, it isn't. This is going to be about me making my life what I want it to be. It is not going to be just the good parts. It will be about all of it. It is going to be honest, and I am holding myself to that.


That is my promise. Not to my one follower. Not to any I may or may not ever gain. It is a promise to myself, because I need to do this for me.

Thank you, so very much, for reading. I hope that you continue to read, but if not, I totally get it.


All my love,
Toni

Supercat

I had to share this picture!

Fishstick is incredibly fond of plastic bags. Any time he can, he will crawl into them. Corey and I went to go grab some groceries, and saw this waiting for us at the door.

He is such a silly cat! He is about 2 years old now... I can't believe how much he has grown.

How adorable was his little face!?

Good news!

This is going to be a pretty quick, but personal post.

I haven't said anything about it here, because I want my blog to be a place of happiness, but life has been pretty rough around here lately. Corey and I got married on November 11th, and in the next two months our only car broke down and had to be towed from our front yard and Corey was laid off. It has been a major struggle since then. I only work part time(usually 30-35 hours) but my job requires completely open availability. Corey is the chief bread winner of our home.

Thankfully, there was nothing major broken on Calliope(our little 2007 Toyota Yaris) so we got that taken care of in a few days. Unfortunately, finding a job for Corey was not that easy. We put him through school two years ago to be certified in Heating, Ventilation, and Air Conditioning, and the tail end of winter just is not busy season for them. No one was hiring.

This morning he interviewed with one of the larger companies in our area, and was hired on the spot! He is such an amazingly hard worker, and I am beyond pleased that someone recognizes it in him. He starts tomorrow! I'll hardly get to see him, since he's going to be working 6:30am-2pm, but that will just make the time we do spend together better!

So that is a little peek into what has been going on here. I hope everything is going well for all of you!

Wolves

I've been crazy busy with work lately! Plus a good friend just got back from deployment, and I am so happy to have him home.

I have been keeping busy with things to share too! I scored some amazing things thrifting this past week, and I can't wait to get some good photos.

Until then, I will show you a commission I had. She wanted a a little wolf statue, and a necklace charm. I am satisfied with the statue, but boy oh boy do I love the charm!

The statue looks a bit more dog like, and I had the hardest time painting him. I must have redone him at least 5 times. I'm usually really good at painting and gradients, but something about the wolf just wouldn't work. He's about 3 inches tall.

The charm though, so cute! His body is about the size of a nickle for comparison. I think I may make some more, with different animals. Maybe a little kitty next?!

Parapluesch

I have been crazy busy with work and helping Corey. I really need an actual camera so I can share more on here! I've had two of my favorite outfits and did a really awesome egg project in the last week. I think I will figure something out with my awful cell phone pictures though, because they are better than nothing!

While I work on that though, I want to share one of my absolute favorite websites and games.

http://www.parapluesch.de/whiskystore/test.htm

It's called Parapluesch, and is a game playing psychiatrist to abused cuddly toys. It's adorable and sad and heartwarming when they get to leave at the end. I found it so many years ago I have no idea how, but Kroko was always my favorite. As a going away to college present, my friends all chipped in and bought me the little plush of him. He holds a space of honor among my cuddle toys, and I am determined to give him a life of love.

It can be a bit time consuming, and somewhat frustrating. I love it though, and I hope others will share my enjoyment!

Aloysius

Earlier I posted the story my husband wrote for our wedding site.

Related to that I thought I would share one of my tattoos today!

This is Aloysius! He is an archeopteryx. He seems quite the dapper dino here, but he is a crazy party animal!

He is about a foot tall, in the back of my calf. He wraps around a bit on either side, so it's hard to get a full picture. I absolutely love everything about him. Pretty much I told my tattoo artist to have fun, and boy did he! His little feather in the breast pocket gets me every.single.time. I just.. love it so much!

Art done by Gentleman Jim, who is amazing. I cannot praise this man enough, and if you ever happen to find yourself in the area, you should definitely give him a look.



Pretty pretty please do not steal my tattoo anyone!

Jackalope!

While I typically consider myself to be a jack of all crafts, master of none, the one thing I believe I am fully talented at is sculpting. Clay is one of my biggest passions in life, and few things compare to the thrill of someone seeing their idea come to life through my skills!

To that point, I made this jackalope mount for a friend recently. It is the most detailed sculpt I have done since college, and I am beyond pleased with how it turned out.


If you are at all interested in commissioning me, please drop me a note! I prefer to work off of commissions rather than blindly making items. Plus then it is completely customizable!

Except maybe a few more jackalopes. It was so much fun to make, I definitely want to at least make myself one!